When I think about my life. Really think about my life I am filled with awe and anxiety. Where I have come from. Where I am going. Everything in between and the present. Sometimes I am scared. What have I done? Have I truly lived to my potential? How fast it is going? Is it too late? Am I too old? At other times I am positive and feel that there is so much to offer. So much to experience.
Thankfully the later does happen more often and I do not feel a sense of fear as often. What I do end up doing is thinking about all the wonderful things I want to do. This is what takes up a lot of my ponderings, imagination and thoughts. To do my Masters, to achieve a PhD, to reconnect with my Italian heritage and learn the language again, to write a novel, to write a worthy blog (??), to keep a journal, to write letters, to meditate daily, to be truly grateful, to bake a roast on Sundays, to ride my bike, to read and read and read, to attend a book club, to take great photos, to go to yoga twice a week, to run, to take long walks, to just sit and watch the world go by, to feel the sun on my face, to lead a rich and fulfilling life. To live a happy life. I know there is so much I want to do. I don’t expect to do it all at once but I do want to fill my spare time, my time away from work, with experiences that are rich and wondrous. I need to. Currently, I am not fulfilled with work.
I do have a plan. Firstly, to live in the present. To practice mindfulness. To be grateful for each and every day. I mean truly grateful in a gracious and quiet way. To allow the flow of life to just flow and ebb its way gently way where there is no personal judgement or expectations. I think I have it. To learn to be still and to appreciate and to celebrate the serenity of just being. Secondly? Hmmm … I think I will focus on what I have here.
For now … I am just being.
Just breath … don’t force life … observe … be still and trust all will be okay. All will be okay.
This is a start ….
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